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nineteen; 29.10.1990
NYP; Nursing yr3

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Count down for new year over at marina with jh and aaron. Fireworks was great and so bye 2009.

What a good way to start the new year. Damn it.

Typed one whole chunk, but deleted away, decided that it was private. All I can say is that I have a very dysfunctional family and I cried over it.

Dear God, all I can do is to trust you make things right again. I dun want us to live in unhappiness, fear, and hatred for each other. Like in the ten commandments,I wish to obey my parents, be a filial child. But by the way things are gg, I dun think so. Tdy I have the feeling of not even want to communicate. Is the devil taking over? I hope not. Lord, guide us the way, and I hope the thoughts that I have wI'll never come true. Amen.

The feeling of never wanting to wake up again is just too strong.

I cried over what I thought, what I said, what I do, what I typed. ):